Why It’s Okay To Ask For Help
by Kym Farris
I’ve always credited myself for being able to get stuff done on my own. I was told growing up to not trust anyone with my issues or feelings. I was brought up by a single mother. She was married to my father and they lived together with us kids but she was single. She worked 3 jobs, fed all of us, made sure we did our homework and got up for school. You get the picture. My father was there but I really only remember him on Sundays or at family events. I never saw my mother show emotion. And she never asked for help. No matter how bad things got. So it’s only fitting that I grew up and took on that trait.
I used to think I was strong. I used to think people who needed people were weak. Turns out I was the weak one. I can go all the way back to my school days. I wonder if I had told a teacher I couldn’t understand something if maybe I wouldn’t have dropped out at 15. Like everyone I always had the dream of walking across the stage and accepting my diploma. Although I did go back and get my GED there was still that disappointment. But don’t worry in 2 years I’ll be walking across a stage to get my bachelor's degree. Okay, let me get back to where I was going with this. I can ramble for days.
Realizing the problem
Over the past few weeks, I have been hit with a few lefts and rights, a fierce uppercut and a gut shot that sent me to my knees. Nothing life-threatening but things I wasn’t quite ready for. I sat down and thought what do I do? What questions do I ask? Where do I start? Who can I turn to? But the problem was I was asking myself these questions. It never once dawned on me to ask anyone else for suggestions. And guess where that got me? Anxiety, headaches, and almost to the point of making myself physically sick every night.
I didn’t want to do any schoolwork or work itself. I’m not a perfectionist but getting a B on a paper doesn’t sit well with me. I got 2 over the past 2 weeks. I have a job and as you see it’s writing a blog. How can I write if I can’t think straight? I knew I couldn’t let what I was going through take me down but again where do I start?
Searching for an answer
I went to Google. I go to Google for everything from recipes to cold symptoms. I’m pretty sure they’ve had me dead a few times but hey they’ve gotten a few things right. The question I hesitantly asked this time was how to ask for help. Just in general. No subject or nothing. Kind of like playing Russian Roulette Google style. This time I’m proud to say they got it right. I was led to books, blogs and journal entries of people just like me. Imagine? I read a few of the books and learned a few things. I am adding links to them below.
What I am learning is it’s true no question is a stupid question. The only stupid thing is not asking the question. I don’t have to bang my head off a wall looking for answers. Someone out there knows what I don’t. And even if they don't, two heads are better than one right?
Help, I'm Drowning: Weathering the Storms of Life with Grace and Hope
Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires
Stop, Ask, Explore: Learn to Navigate Change in Times of Uncertainty
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